Monday, December 31, 2012

7 New Year's Resolutions for Couples

To that end, here are 7 suggestions for Couple Resolutions:

1) Remember first attractions - It's so easy in the general messiness of living with another person to forget about what attracted you to each other in the first place. This would be a good list to make and a good conversation to have every know and then.
It's been said by my favorite author (Author Unknown) that "When you are up to your neck in alligators, it's hard to remember the original objective was to drain the swamp."This applies here big time.
2) Fight for relationship - Couples fight sometimes. That's just part of the territory. So since you are going to fight, why not decide in advance what to for, yes? I suggest fighting for the relationship. Most folks fight to be right. Fight for the relationship.
3) Live below your means - Now I've gone from preaching to meddling, right? The happiest couples I know are not necessarily the richest couples I know. The happiest couples I know are those without significant money worries. The best way to achieve this is to live below your means.
4) Know love language - In what way does your partner best experience and feel loved? Is it actions like acts of service? Is it words? Is it being touched?
The best way to find out is to ask.
5) Speak love language - Once you know the love language of your partner, speak it. Radical notion I know, but it works. The temptation is to speak in our own love language. Often that is not the language of our partner. Know it and speak it.
6) Daily time together - I don't care if it's just 15 minutes. Couple need this time to keep the connection strong. In the hustle and bustle of each day, couple time is often the first thing to go. Schedule it if you have to, just make sure you get it in.
7) Regular date night - This could be the best couple resolution of all. You dated when you were getting together. Why stop? A regular date night allows you to spend quality couple time together, and gives you something to look forward to each week or month.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Gay marriage a threat to world peace, says Pope

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- The pope took his opposition to gay marriage to new heights Friday, denouncing what he described as people manipulating their God-given gender to suit their sexual choices - and destroying the very "essence of the human creature" in the process.

Benedict XVI made the comments in his annual Christmas speech to the Vatican bureaucracy - one of his most important speeches of the year. He dedicated it this year to promoting family values in the face of vocal campaigns in France, the US, Britain and elsewhere to legalise same-sex marriage.
In his remarks, Benedict quoted the chief rabbi of France, Gilles Bernheim, in saying the campaign for granting gays the right to marry and adopt children was an "attack" on the traditional family made up of a father, mother and children.
"People dispute the idea that they have a nature, given to them by their bodily identity, that serves as a defining element of the human being," he said. "They deny their nature and decide that it is not something previously given to them, but that they make it for themselves."
"The manipulation of nature, which we deplore today where our environment is concerned, now becomes man's fundamental choice where he himself is concerned," he said.
It was the second time in a week that Benedict has taken on the question of gay marriage, which is dividing France after proponents scored big electoral wins in the United States last month. In his recently released annual peace message, Benedict said gay marriage, like abortion and euthanasia, was a threat to world peace.
After the peace message was released last week, gay activists staged a small protest in St Peter's Square.
Church teaching holds that homosexual acts are "intrinsically disordered," though it stresses that gays should be treated with compassion and dignity. As pope and as head of the Vatican's orthodoxy watchdog before that, Benedict has been a strong enforcer of that teaching: One of the first major documents of his pontificate said men with "deep-seated" homosexual tendencies shouldn't be ordained priests.
For the Vatican, though, the gay marriage issue goes beyond questions of homosexuality, threatening what the church considers to be the bedrock of society: a family based on a man, woman and their children.
But the Vatican's opposition has been falling on deaf ears. Under then-Socialist leader Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, the largely Roman Catholic Spain legalised gay marriage. Earlier this month, the British government announced it will introduce a bill next year legalizing gay marriage, though it would ban the Church of England from conducting same-sex ceremonies.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Nigeria: VP Sambo Gives Out Daughters in Marriage


  Vice President Mohammed Namadi Sambo, on Saturday, December 8, gave out his two daughters in marriage; Huwaila to Mukhtar Ruma and Aisha to Auwal Abdulrahaman.

The Wedding Fatiha which took place at the Sultan Bello Mosque Unguwan Sarki, Kaduna was supervised by Sheikh Abdulwahab Balele Wali, the Chief Imam of the mosque.

Nigeria: Yakowa's Wife May Emerge Deputy Governor

 Strong indications emerged yesterday suggesting that the wife of the late governor of Kaduna State, Mrs Amina Elizabeth Yakowa, could emerge the deputy governor of the state following the death of her husband in a helicopter crash on Saturday.

yakowa-patrick_0The plan to tap Amina as the deputy to the newly sworn-in governor of Kaduna State, Dr. Mukhtar Ramalan Yero, is being championed by northern governors across party divide, top northern politicians and governors from other regions of the country with the aim of sustaining Yekowa's legacies.
The promoters of the move to install Yakowa's wife could meet with Vice President Namadi Sambo in about a week's time.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Getting Back Your Ex Girlfriend - 3 Mistakes That Are Going to Push Her Away for Good!

There are some mistakes that you can end up making with an ex girlfriend that are really going to push her away for good. They are the kind of mistakes that you can't just take back or apologize for and they can end up being the main reason why she won't even give the idea of getting back with you a second thought. So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, it is a good idea to know what these mistakes are so you don't unknowingly end up making any of them.
Here are 3 mistakes that are going to push her away for good:

Being Stuck in a Bad Relationship and Afraid to Change

            You have probably heard a friend of yours carrying a monologue about her unsuccessful attempts at relationships. It might well be that few thoughts run through your mind as well, as you contemplate what stands in your way form developing a successful intimacy. Such a monologue and/or thoughts often take the following form: "I thought that developing a new relationship would help me escape my old failures. But it suddenly occurs to me that it just isn't so. That I will never be able to build a truly healthy intimate relationship. I will never be able to be totally free to express myself and be assertive. Why not? Because I don't really know, anymore, what I want. 

            I am so used to do what others want me to do, to behave the way others expect me to behave, that I don't trust myself anymore to become able to change that. And I say this all with a lot of sorrow and sadness, because I don't love myself the way I am, but I know I don't have the inner strength it takes to change it. When it comes to men I know I am too dependent on them; too needy. I need their love and I need their company. I can't do without it, without them. I can't be alone. I just can't. I know this has driven me to many unhealthy relationships and to going out with many abusive men who thought they can control me - and they did! - but still, I feel powerless to do anything about it. 

Thursday, December 11, 2008

How Can I Avoid Falling Into The Friends Zone?

Great question. When you first meet someone, you are constantly scanning and checking--consciously or subconsciously--and asking yourself,"How am I doing?" You show up to the bar, club or whatever venue well groomed, smelling clean, with your best pitch ready to throw out to all those lucky ladies. You are spinning your best rap and feeling the moment with her when she suddenly says those kiss of death words, "I just want to be friends," or "I'm kind of seeing someone right now."

You have now fallen into the Friends zone.

Here's the deal, guys: You should never be thought of as "boring" or "too nice" or "as just a friend". If you are, it is because you did not build VALUE into your spiel and women...great organizers that we are...immediately plop you into the friends box.

How can you avoid this?

First: Come across as fun and playful.

Second: Take the lead and make sure everyone is having a good time. If she is with a girlfriend or two, make eye contact and speak with each of them. If you don't the ones who are left out will start looking around, turn their backs, start to fidget and then they will all bail on you.

Three: Play a game with her. If you are at a bar and drinking, tell her you bet she's had too much to drink and tell her you have a sobriety test to give her. Tell her if she passes the test, she can buy you a drink.

Hold your hand out with the palm facing up and say, "Go like this", then place your hand, palm down, just over the top of hers and tell her to slap your hand before you can take it away. If she is giggling and seems to be enjoying it, then reverse the process.

By being gentle and playful, you are not being threatening. And since you didn't just say to her, "Let's play hand tag" you didn't give her a chance to say, "No." You are taking simple, small steps.

Now, it is a well known fact that women are attention whores. That's right. We like attention and when we don't get attention, we start competing for it. So if you are successful at this maneuver, you have paid some attention to us and we like that. But if you pay attention to us and then pull away a little bit, we wonder what happened that made us lose our grip on you. So, if you just slightly, and I mean very slightly, pull away while we are all laughing and having fun with the hand tag game, watch as we move forward toward you, or watch us start playing with our hair, fidgeting or touching you.

So then you say,"Who's next? Who wants to buy me a drink next?" And wink and laugh.
When the next girl in the group says,"Me!" playfully say, "I dunno. You look pretty drunk to me. Don't know if you can tag my hand," implying the challenge. Watch how fast she grabs your hand to play!

Like shooting apples in a barrel...

Dr. Fayr Barkley, M.Ed., D.C.H., Ph.D. is a Life and Relationship Coach in Beverly Hills, CA and was a recurring relationship specialist "Dr. Fayr Pajama Doc" on the reality dating show "Blind Date" for 6 seasons. Her doctoral degrees are in Clinical Hypnotherapy and Counseling Psychology. She is also a certified Addictions Specialist and Los Angeles County Bar Association certified Mediator. A former CBS affiliate journalist and award winning PBS Producer/ Director, she utilizes her educational background, experience and training for advances in research and understanding of human behavior. (C) 2008

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